Understanding Self-Harm: Facts and Ways to Help

Self-harm is the act of deliberately hurting oneself as a way to cope with emotional pain, stress, or overwhelming feelings. It can take many forms, including cutting, burning, or hitting oneself. Although self-harm is not typically an attempt at suicide, it is often a sign of deep emotional distress. Recognizing the signs of self-harm and knowing how to support someone in need are critical for encouraging healthier ways of coping and seeking professional help.



1. What Is Self-Harm?

• Definition: Self-harm, also called self-injury, involves intentionally causing physical harm to oneself without the intention of ending one’s life.
• Methods: Common forms of self-harm include cutting, scratching, burning, hitting, or pulling out hair.
• Purpose: Self-harm is often used as a way to manage intense emotions, release stress, or feel a sense of control. It can provide a temporary sense of relief from emotional pain.

2. Why Do People Self-Harm?

• Emotional release: Many people turn to self-harm to release pent-up emotions or to feel "something" when feeling numb.
• Coping mechanism: Self-harm can become a way to cope with overwhelming feelings like anger, sadness, or shame.
• Sense of control: Engaging in self-harm can give individuals a sense of control over their bodies when other aspects of life feel chaotic.
• Expressing feelings: For some, self-harm is a way to express feelings that they can’t put into words, especially if they feel unable to talk openly about their struggles.

3. Who Is at Risk for Self-Harm?

• Mental health conditions: People with conditions like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder are at higher risk.
• Trauma survivors: Those who have experienced abuse, bullying, or traumatic events may turn to self-harm as a coping mechanism.
• Teens and young adults: Self-harm is most common among teenagers and young adults, although it can affect people of any age.
• Social isolation: People who feel isolated, lonely, or disconnected from others may be more likely to self-harm.

4. Signs and Symptoms of Self-Harm

• Frequent injuries: Repeated cuts, burns, bruises, or scratches that often appear in hidden areas like the arms, thighs, or stomach.
• Wearing long sleeves or pants: People who self-harm often wear long clothing, even in warm weather, to cover up injuries.
• Avoiding social situations: Self-harming individuals may isolate themselves to prevent others from noticing their injuries.
• Unexplained injuries: Frequent "accidents" or explanations for injuries that don’t add up may indicate self-harm.
• Changes in mood or behavior: Increased irritability, mood swings, or withdrawal from friends and family.

5. How to Help Someone Who Self-Harms

• Approach with empathy: Show compassion, listen without judgment, and avoid reacting with shock or anger.
• Encourage open communication: Gently ask questions and let them share at their own pace. Say things like, “I’m here to listen if you want to talk.”
• Express concern, not control: Let them know you’re worried and want to help without forcing them to stop, which can make them feel more isolated.
• Avoid guilt or shame: Don’t blame them for their self-harm or make them feel ashamed. Offer reassurance that many people struggle with similar feelings.
• Suggest professional help: Encourage them to speak with a mental health professional who can help them find healthier ways to cope.

6. Alternatives to Self-Harm

• Grounding techniques: Activities like holding an ice cube, using a stress ball, or taking a cold shower can provide physical sensations that help redirect focus.
• Creative outlets: Drawing, writing, painting, or playing music can offer an emotional outlet and help process difficult feelings.
• Mindfulness and relaxation exercises: Breathing exercises, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help manage stress and calm the mind.
• Physical activity: Exercise like running, walking, or dancing can release endorphins and provide a healthier way to release pent-up energy.
• Talking to someone: Reaching out to a friend, family member, or counselor can provide support and make it easier to talk through difficult feelings.

7. Treatment Options for Self-Harm

• Therapy: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) are effective for self-harm, teaching healthier coping mechanisms.
• Medication: For those with underlying mental health conditions, medications such as antidepressants or mood stabilizers may be part of a treatment plan.
• Support groups: Peer support groups for individuals who self-harm can provide community and understanding.
• Skills-building: Learning new coping strategies and stress-management techniques can reduce the reliance on self-harm as a coping mechanism.

8. Preventing Self-Harm Relapse

• Develop a coping plan: Work with a therapist to identify triggers and create a personalized plan for dealing with stress or strong emotions.
• Regular check-ins: Consistent communication with friends, family, or a therapist can help prevent a return to self-harm.
• Building a support network: Having supportive friends or family members available for encouragement can make it easier to stay on track.
• Journaling: Writing down feelings can provide an emotional release and make it easier to spot patterns in behavior.

Final Thoughts:

Self-harm is often a sign of significant emotional distress and can be difficult for both the person affected and their loved ones to understand. Offering compassion, support, and encouragement to seek professional help can make a world of difference in someone’s journey toward healthier ways of coping. If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, know that help is available and that recovery is possible with the right resources and support.